Phase 2 - Our up's and down's

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Our up's and down's

After your appointment with the vet and the physical therapist, we had figured out your issues and a road recovery layed straight ahead. The plan was there and the goal set- but it was difficult to feel confident yet. 

The morning of the fourth day was foggy and dewy-

I brought you and the other horses food and made sure to give you the right amount of supplements and pain medication. The vet agreed to a slow increasing feeding plan that wouldn't upset your stomach, but would give you all the nutrients you'd need to recover as fast as possible. You were shy, but so greedy for food- at least I didn't have to worry about you not eating. 

Our routine for the first week consisted of :

Daily massages, short walks per day, taking care of your rainrot wounds and foremostly- getting used to each other. After three days you actually showed signs of craving attention and i felt like your shell would crumble sooner or later. 

I loved seeing you going from reserved and alert to more confident and actually curious about the new surroundings. The pain medication seemed to be helping and your character started to show through! We walked slow and carefully, and I think it also teached me to be more aware of the details around us. You didn't have all this for so long, so I let you stand and sniff flowers for a moment if you craved to do so. 

The brace seemed to be helping a bit, but the instability definitely also showed in your other joint and we decided to put a brace on there too. With both supporting your weakest leg, your walking got slightly better day by day.

At the beginning of week three, I entered the barn to feed everyone in the morning. I think you must have heard my keys and called for me the very first time. It made me so happy and it felt like a breakthrough in a way. Your fear finally crumbled under the desperation for touches and you trusted me enough to show your sweet character. With your nose nudging me constantly for more pets and scratchies, I just couldn't help but fall in love with you. I didn't know a horse could be so puppy like and clingy- it was genuinely the most adorable thing ever. 

Week four started so good, but went so dark in just a split second. It still hurts to remember and I don't know if the guilt will ever fade. 

It was after lunch when we did our daily training and I thought it was a good idea to incorporate poles to lead you through a parkour. We didn't do this before, but after a few minutes, you confidently walked through them. I dont know what exactly happened; maybe i layed them too close to each other or something- but I got distracted and suddenly your hoof stumbled over a pole. You slipped and your leg twisted to the side. We both got so startled and you fell down knee first.

Panic immediately rushed through me when you screamed in pain. The following hours I can barely remember- I know the vet came, but i can't remember calling him. I know that we put a bandage on your knee, but i can't remember the process. I remember my mom holding me when i sat on the floor panicking and shaking, but i dont know how i got there. 

I still have this picture in my head of you limping heavily and looking at me like I betrayed you. You trusted me and only me like that- but I was careless and let this happen. 

Everyone told me its not my fault, that this type of things can always happen. But I should have known; I should have been more careful. Letting down my partner; this sweet boy that has been treated so badly, was simply unacceptable. It hurt my heart to see you like this and not knowing what this will mean. What will happen now. Will this ruin everything? Did my fear come true and it will not be possible to save you? 

The next day, I checked on you and expected you to be detached from me again- but to my suprise, you limped towards me with the same happy expression as always. I hugged you and tried to make you understand how sorry I am for what happened. You nudged me gently and I couldn't help but shed some little tears. 

You recovered within the next few days, but this setback was really upsetting nonetheless. The scrape on your knee healed slowly and reminded me of the incident every day. Your physical therapy sessions and our training was going well though, and I couldn't have been more proud of my sweet boy.  

After week five the rainrot was looking so much better and miss scheafer was able to safely place kinesiologic tape on your back and I set up the appointment with the specialist farrier for the coming Friday. He shortened and shaped your hoofs and after a day of confused limping because of the drastic difference, you walked like a champ! 

When buying groceries I saw this cute plushie that had your halters color and I immediately thought of you and that accident. "Maybe he'd like this" I thought while putting the plushie on the cash register belt. And as it turned out- you LOVED it! Since then you've been happily waddling behind me with your plush buddy, carrying it securely. Sometimes we play that game where I hide it close by and you search for it- it's the cutest thing when you come to me for help if its a little to hard to find. Im so glad you found comfort in it and I'm so incredibly proud of your progress. You were such a strong boy in those difficult weeks.