Phase #1

Tanwen watched the trailer roll in, apprehension written all over her tight features. It’s not the horse itself that had her worried - she had seen a fair share of horror stories throughout the years, and had been a stop for a few on their way to their forever homes - but this one was hers, and she was still unsure that she was ready to open herself up again.

Hayden had called her a couple weeks ago, pleading in the most excited tone she had heard from the man, to just trust him and adopt a horse that had recently been rescued, sight unseen. The rescue had just had an influx of Loshenka’s, this one included, and Hayden told her the second he had laid eyes on him, he knew he would be the perfect fit for her. He’d quickly run down the list - Burlesque Chardonnay, blotted black plum appaloosa, trained in classical dressage, and from what he’d seen, a beautiful mover, but had been sold to an abusive owner which caused him to emotionally shut down, and now the poor horse could barely stand the sight of an arena without tensing - before again, excitedly begging her to adopt him. She could practically see the exclamation points after his words. 

“He’s perfect for you Tan, I mean it. I know you’ve been going through it since, well…but just give it a chance, alright? I promise you won’t regret it! Hell, it might even get you out of your funk.” 

The last part was mumbled, but Tan caught it anyway. Her eyebrows met her hairline. They’d exchanged numbers. 

But still, she had hesitated. It wasn’t the idea of rescuing a horse that was daunting, she ran a competition stable, she had plenty of Loshie’s, both her own and her riders on the property, but the idea of opening herself up to another horse. She had lost her heart horse only a year ago. The two of them had been a dream team, competing in dressage events all over Europe, blue ribbons flying behind them like a jet trail. And then an equestrian's worst dream had happened, and her boy coliced. Tan and her team had done everything she possibly could to save him, even Hayden had flown out to offer moral support, but death waits for no man. Ascot passed. She had stared at the horse who had been a part of her soul for nearly as long as she could remember, who was as much an extension of her as her own shadow, and cradled his head as he left this world just as she did when he first entered it. Ascot passed along with her connection to riding. She still rode, of course, she doubted even death could keep her away, but gone was the feeling of walking through the wardrobe to Narnia when she rode. But somehow she found herself saying, with a sigh leaving her that she was fairly certain registered on the Reichter scale,

“Okay.” 

“Okay? Really? You’ll do it?” 

“I’ll do it. But Hayden-” 

“Uh uh, no buts! I’ll get the paperwork done and have him trailered to your place in no time, you won’t even have to lift a finger. Thanks Tan, love you!” was the last thing she heard before the clattering sound of a phone hitting the receiver filled her ears. Her eyes rolled heavenward, but a fond smile had tugged at her lips, and she had found herself filled with tiniest suggestion of hope that maybe Hayden was right. 

She would never tell him that though. Especially when he was still using a landline. 

That spark was buried deep under the anxiety filling her, now that she was making eye contact with the trailer. It had rolled to a stop next to a gate to a field. Based on the information Hayden had given her, she had decided that immediate, solitary field turnout was best. There would be no barns, no other horses, and no tack in sight, nothing to give her new project anxiety about his new home. Rombauer, as he was affectionately known, wasn’t coming here to be abused in competition again, he was coming here to heal. An open field was the best way she could present that. 

She didn’t recognize the volunteer who hopped out of the truck, but she greeted her with a warm smile and a friendly handshake, getting her own in return.

“How’d he do?”

“Sweet as an angel loading, but that look on his face,” she shook her head, the volunteer's warm accent curling around her words, softening the grief in them “I haven’t seen any horse shut down like that in a long time. Made me wish there was some way I could tell him that he wasn’t going to a show or somewhere that was gonna hurt him.” 

Tan winced in sympathy. “That bad, huh?” 

The look on the volunteer's face told her all she needed to know. While the rescue, and subsequently Hayden, hadn’t known the full extent to which the abuse went, Rombauer’s shutdown had been bad enough that they weren’t sure they wanted to. Tan had hoped that Hayden had been exaggerating when he had told her this, bless the man and his way with words, but her heart sank as she realized this wasn’t the case. 

“Well, here’s to new beginnings then.” After double checking with the volunteer, Tan started the process of unlocking the trailer. 

Clink. Clack. Rattle.

With a final few tugs, the trailer door opened and there he was. Burlesque Chardonnay in all his glory. Tan couldn’t help but stare, lips and eyes widening as she took in the vision before her. He was gorgeous. Defined muscles rippled underneath a coat that soaked up the sunsets warmth like a glass of wine glittering in the sun. A glistening tail hung low behind him, complementing the lacquer of his coat. On his head was a custom halter, a gold wine glass coruscating on the top connection point near his eye, reminding everyone around him of his name. But the eyes that sat in that head were where the dream makings of a champion ended, and the harsh reality of what he had been through began. 

Where his dark coat reflected the light, his even darker eyes seemed to absorb it. No warmth nor will came from them, only cold, hard nothingness; if Tan wasn’t able to see him breathing, she would have thought he was dead. His life had been beaten and worked out of him, until all that was left was the horse that stood before Tan, looking at her without really seeing her. A shell without a soul. 

She walked into the trailer and clipped the lead onto his halter, eyes still wide, herself barely breathing. Still, she was met with that same soulless stare. Her heart couldn’t help but beat painfully in her chest as a new wave of grief, for this poor stallion, crashed over her. While the rescue had said he had made progress, it seemed like the fear of going somewhere new, of somewhere where he would be abused again, had pushed all of that progress back. It was enough to wash that little spark of hope back to the forefront, like a sand dollar that just happens to ride the right wave, at the right moment. And just like one does with a sand dollar, it was time to make a wish. 

“Oh, you sweet boy.” she murmured, “welcome home.” 

Tan led Rombauer out of the trailer, giving the volunteer a smile as she motioned for her to open up the gate to the field. Proper introductions between her and her new partner could be made later, now was the time for her to give him his first real reassurance that he was safe, and to try and to use the spark that was warming her chest as flint to light one in his eyes. 

Come on sweet boy, look. You’re not going to work.

He had gone through the motions of following her through the gate, reacting to the pressure on the lead but little else, until she stopped and latched the gate behind her. As she turned around, lead loose in her hands, she saw the beginnings of a light flicker in his eyes, a hint of personality start to shine through, and he took off, pulling the lead from her hands, dancing out into the field before him. The short lead flew behind his head, as his legs seemed to glide through the air, hooves barely tickling the grass beneath them before they were up again. His eyes were still dead and dull behind blinking lids, but he had moved on his own. Most importantly, he had defied her, defied what he knew he was supposed to do, and ran from her, halter and lead still on. Tanwen couldn’t dredge up a hint of irritation, despite the startled yelp coming from behind her, as the hope that was inside her chest swelled again, this time in a tsunami that pulled some of her lasting grief out to sea as it retreated. 

The setting sun warmed two souls that day, illuminating a path just wide enough for two in the previously never-ending darkness.