Born to Be More Than a Number

“Did the others make it out?” The Blueberry mare asked herself as she slowly traversed the vast countryside. Her ears were pinned back against her head, her steps were careful and precise. Her tail swished in agitation from the summer bugs.

She kept stopping and checking behind where she came from. The wind picked up slightly, making the mare feel more nervous as she shook her head to rid of herself of the fear she held onto.

The white sticker on her back stating her auction number threatened to blow away into the clear sky. Sweeping up the memories of being shoved and squished between dozens of horses. She didn’t know their names, she didn’t want to. She knew their chances of getting out were less than her own. But here she was, her unique coat stood out against the greenery as she picked up a trot, holding her head high, staying alert to make sure they don’t come back for her.

She felt the warm sun on her back, the wind through her long, whitish tail. For the first time in her life, she felt what every horse longed for, she felt freedom.

Once she thought she was far enough, once she could no longer smell the sickness and fear of the other horses, she stopped to rest. She cautiously moved underneath a giant oak tree that grew on the edge of the field. Its heavy branches brought shade against the sun. The mare moved her nose to the ground to sniff at the grass. Her snip caught the sunlight, making it appear cleaner than it was. The dirt from the auction pen stuck to the mare’s coat like flies after a rainstorm. Making her bluish tint dull, masking the dapples that adorned her once shiny coat.

She started to nibble on the grass as her tail swished in contentment. The numbers on her sticker read ‘12612,’ a number she didn’t understand, left without a name or a companion. She traveled alone, skinny and broken. But free.

“Were the others as lucky as me to escape?” She asked the wind, lifting her head up when she heard a raven call out nearby. Her ears perked up. Listening to the sounds of nature. She didn’t understand what freedom meant when she was cold and hungry standing in a small pen. But now, she could smell the lush grass dancing in the breeze, she could feel the ground underneath her hooves, she could hear the birdsong high above her, she could taste the abundance of food that she ate until she felt sick. The water was clean. Here she felt like herself again. She wasn’t just fighting to survive, she was living now.

The mare stayed under the tree until the sun disappeared behind the hillside. Until the flies turned into misquotes that nipped at her flank, but she welcomed them, because they weren’t angry horses nipping out at her with their teeth bared and ears pinned back, because here she could actually move her body freely. And that’s what she did.

She ran, bucked and jumped well into the night, her whinnies of joy echoed into the sky where the stars danced with her. She ran until she couldn’t anymore and eventually drifted off into a deep sleep under the tree.

When she woke the next morning, she wasn’t startled when a raindrop hit her neck, the wetness soaking into her skin. The mare shook her body, the dust that clung to her filled her nostrils. The new scents around her were overwhelming. She snorted and stepped out from under the comforts of the tree. The sky was dark, the sun was hiding behind a veil of clouds that brought a light rain. She flicked her ears when she heard the raven call again. She saw it soar high above her, looking for worms and enjoying the rain on its feathers.

The mare closed her eyes and let the rain wash away the dirt she held onto for her entire life. The water felt cold but refreshing against her sensitive skin. She felt different now. As if the rain washed away who she once was, a scared filly without a home.

Now feeling refreshed, the mare thought on her new life she will create.

She needed a name, a home and maybe some friends. She pawed at the mud on the ground, feeling courage flow through her veins. She knew this would be the start of something incredible.

The mare decided to leave the comforts of the tree and set out into the rain as it came down heavier, making her blue coat shine like it once was. Her dapples were visible as the grime was washed away.  She followed a game trail into the forest where it offered shelter from the storm. She could smell so much wildlife that roamed the woods, some scents were familiar, others were strange and frightening. But the mare pushed on in quiet determination. She knew she couldn’t turn back now.

The rain started to slow down when she came into a clearing, the sun started to shine down on the forest floor. Giving warmth into the world once again.

By mid afternoon, the mare was slowly walking further into the woods, leaving behind all that she knew. She could smell other horses nearby, she could hear their nickers of joy and excitement. She could smell humans all around as the forest thinned out. She recognized the smell to be from a stable. It reminded her of a place deep within her memory. It brought her back to the feeling of her mother snuggling up close to her, of a joy that brunt out long ago. Of fresh hay and a paddock filled with endless fields.

Her legs started to grow weary, her head lowered and her eyes were heavy.

The mare huffed softly, feeling the comfort of a tree to lean on. When her eyes shut, she could still smell the fresh grass after the rain, she could hear the wild animals scurrying across the forest floor. She could still feel the wetness of the rain on her coat. When her eyes opened, she looked down the rows of muddy pens where other horses were standing, sickly and starving. She became aware of the mud on her coat again. The crowded pen made her unable to move as the word around her filled with the busyness of the auction workers. “It was only a dream.” She said to herself as she lowered her head once more. She wondered if someone would come rescue her. Maybe in another lifetime.